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Protected: artisan heirloom radicchio / this carpaccio’s effin’ ridiculo

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Protected: 1. Pure Evil has strong teratogenic effects, with a tendency to produce asymmetry.

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Protected: post hoc reasoning at its most egregious

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Protected: hipster imperialist

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Protected: Ever tried cleaning a leopard? They’re *filthy*!

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Protected: Dear Archbishop, I hope this gossip finds you well.

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Protected: the atoms in the raisin disrupt the light beam

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Protected: “I need to go home and think about my life” “It won’t help”

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Protected: and yet it is a nuclear duck

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